Hi, My name is Linda… and I’m a one-upper

Confessions of a one-upper…

A week ago, I went to a recognition dinner with my husband and his coworkers. I met a few of the wives, and we connected right away. We talked most of the evening and at the end of the night, she shared an amazing story about her son and his geography skills. I was blown away, it was amazing! In return, I shared my story about my son and his math skills.

Later that night, I realized that I “one-upped” her. I had done it again.

In my search for connection, I unintentionally “one-upped” her in conversation.

Hi, I’m Linda, and I’m a one-upper.

When I think and reflect on why I do this, I realize that it can seem like it comes from a place of insecurity, or even arrogance. Some would interpet what happened above as me saying my son was better than hers, or that I couldn’t just let her son have the spotlight, that I had to share how amazing my son was as well.

I see that, I understand that. But I also know that’s not it. I didn’t share because I wanted to prove that my son was smarter or better.

I shared because I wanted to connect, to relate to what she had said. I wanted her to feel as thought I could relate with what she was telling me, so I shared a moment where I went through a similar feeling or experience.

I was craving connection.

I wish I could go back to that conversation and keep my mouth shut and simply let her brag about her son. I didn’t have to brag about mine at the same time, I didn’t have to make her feel as though what she was sharing wasn’t important in itself. And I hope that one day, she (and everyone else I unintentionally “one-up” will be able to understand that it doesn’t come from a place of maliciousness, it comes from a place of connection.